i know, i know i know i know, i'm sorry. but i'm not good at starting things -- it's not just you i treat this way -- i can count on both hands the times i've ever messaged someone. i didn't write on your wall because that's public, and also because you said you don't get on facebook often. i texted you because i was crying alone on my bed and it seemed like that was the lowest i could go.
it's so hard for me to admit that i need someone in my life because i've spent most of it telling myself to be independent.
i thought about unlocking those posts for you to read, but i think we're better off without them. they're ridiculously self-indulgent and bitter and i don't want to go backwards. but the thing is, i'm so tired of looking at the walls and thinking of the notes we could've put up there together, or of watching a television show and not having you there to laugh at it with. i'm tired of not having anyone to talk to about my classes, or to walk with me when i go to get dinner. i really, really wish you were here. and more and more, it feels like you're never coming here -- you've got so much going on back home, and i'm happy for you, but.
some days i feel like i'm thriving, and some days i'm just stepping in puddles and ducking my head through another day.
it's so hard for me to admit that i need someone in my life because i've spent most of it telling myself to be independent.
i thought about unlocking those posts for you to read, but i think we're better off without them. they're ridiculously self-indulgent and bitter and i don't want to go backwards. but the thing is, i'm so tired of looking at the walls and thinking of the notes we could've put up there together, or of watching a television show and not having you there to laugh at it with. i'm tired of not having anyone to talk to about my classes, or to walk with me when i go to get dinner. i really, really wish you were here. and more and more, it feels like you're never coming here -- you've got so much going on back home, and i'm happy for you, but.
some days i feel like i'm thriving, and some days i'm just stepping in puddles and ducking my head through another day.
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